Partner going through my phone: how to protect your photos

Having someone go through your phone, whether it's a partner, a parent or a roommate, feels like a small betrayal every time it happens. You're allowed to want privacy, and you're allowed to protect it. Here's what to do on an iPhone, what not to count on, and how to keep yourself safe if the snooping is part of something bigger.

What to do right now

Work through these in order. Most take a minute or two.

1. Change your passcode. If the other person has ever seen you type it, assume they know it. Go to Settings → Face ID & Passcode → Change Passcode. Choose something they can't guess, not a birthday or anniversary, and use Passcode Options if you want a longer code. Enter it out of their sight from now on.
2. Reset Face ID if you're unsure who's enrolled. Face ID allows an "alternate appearance", and someone with your passcode could have added their own face. iPhone doesn't list enrolled faces, so the safe move is Settings → Face ID & Passcode → Reset Face ID, then set it up again yourself. On an iPhone with Touch ID, check the fingerprints under Touch ID & Passcode and delete any you don't recognise.
3. Turn on Stolen Device Protection. On iOS 17.3 and later, go to Settings → Face ID & Passcode → Stolen Device Protection. Away from familiar places like home, it requires your face or fingerprint (and sometimes a one-hour delay) before sensitive changes such as your Apple Account password. It's designed for thieves, so it does little at home, but it stops someone who only knows your passcode from taking over your account while you're out.
4. Hide notification previews. Messages flashing on your lock screen can say more than you want. Go to Settings → Notifications → Show Previews and choose When Unlocked or Never. You can also set this per app.
5. Lock the Hidden album. Hide photos you don't want seen (open the photo, tap ⋯, then Hide), and make sure Settings → Apps → Photos → Use Face ID is on (on iOS 17 and earlier it's under Settings → Photos). With your new passcode and a reset Face ID, this now actually keeps them out.
6. Run Safety Check. On iOS 16 and later, Settings → Privacy & Security → Safety Check shows which people and apps you share things with, such as your location, photos and notes, and which devices are signed in to your Apple Account. You can review sharing one person at a time with Manage Sharing & Access. Every screen has a Quick Exit button that jumps straight back to the Home Screen.

What not to rely on

• The Hidden album on its own. It opens with your phone's Face ID or passcode. Anyone who knows the passcode can open it, and everyone knows where to look. Our comparison of the Hidden album and an encrypted vault explains the difference.
• Deleting and hoping. Deleted photos sit in Recently Deleted for about 30 days. If you want something gone, follow our guide to permanently deleting photos.
• Shared iCloud. If you share an Apple Account, or someone else has your Apple Account password, they may see your photos on another device. Your own Apple Account, with a password only you know, matters as much as the phone's passcode.
• Watching where you leave the phone. It's exhausting, and one unlocked moment is enough. Settings that work while you're not looking are better.

Setting up lasting protection

Once the phone's own locks are back under your control, give the things that really matter a second lock that isn't your phone's passcode. That way, even if someone learns your passcode again, or you're made to unlock the phone, your most private photos stay closed.

An encrypted vault app does this. VaultCave is one option: each vault opens with its own pattern or passcode, separate from your iPhone's. There's no Face ID unlock by design, so nobody can open it by holding the phone up to your face while you sleep. Vaults never appear in a list at the unlock screen, and the app covers its content in the app switcher. Moving photos in is simple: tap + and choose Photos, and you can delete the originals from your library once the encrypted copy has been verified. Our guide to locking photos with a password walks through it.

A few honest limits: if someone watches you draw your pattern, they can open that vault, so unlock out of sight. A vault app is also visible on your Home Screen. Pro users can pick a disguised icon, but iOS still shows the name under it and shows an alert when the icon changes. Don't treat the app itself as a secret.

Boundaries, briefly

Settings can stop someone from seeing your photos, but they won't change why the person is looking. If it's someone you live with and trust in other ways, it may help to say plainly that your phone is private, the same way a diary or letters would be. Privacy isn't proof you're hiding something wrong, and you don't owe anyone access to your phone.

If the person is controlling or abusive

Sometimes going through your phone is one part of a wider pattern: checking where you are, controlling money or who you see, getting angry when you want privacy, or threats. If that's what's happening, please read this before changing anything.

• Sudden changes can be noticed. A new passcode, a reset Face ID or a new vault app can tell someone that you're protecting yourself. For some people, that triggers escalation. It can be safer to make changes gradually, or only once you have a plan and support.
• A vault doesn't make you safe. It protects files. It can't protect you from a person, and you may be pressured to open it. Your safety comes first, and your photos second.
• Your phone may be monitored. If someone has had access to your phone or your Apple Account, they may see what you search for or who you contact. Consider calling for help from a phone they can't access, such as a friend's or a work phone.
• Safety Check's Emergency Reset stops all sharing with people and apps at once and helps you secure your Apple Account. It's powerful, but the other person may notice that sharing stopped. Apple itself advises thinking about your safety before making changes.

You don't have to work this out alone. In the US, the National Domestic Violence Hotline is free, confidential and open 24/7: call 1-800-799-7233, text START to 88788, or chat at thehotline.org. Elsewhere, search for a domestic-violence helpline in your country, or contact local emergency services if you're in immediate danger. Advocates can help with phone safety too, including what to change and when.

The short version

• Change your passcode, reset Face ID if you're unsure who's enrolled, and hide notification previews.
• Turn on Stolen Device Protection and review sharing in Safety Check.
• The Hidden album only works if nobody else knows your passcode.
• For what really matters, use a vault with its own separate pattern or passcode, and unlock it out of sight.
• If the person is controlling or frightening, plan changes carefully and reach out for help: in the US, 1-800-799-7233.