# Photos from a past relationship: keep them private or let go > Decide what to keep from a past relationship, stop old photos surfacing in Memories, leave shared albums with an ex, and handle intimate images respectfully. Published 2026-11-02 · https://vaultcave.app/scenarios/photos-from-past-relationship **You don't have to delete everything or keep everything. Move the photos you want to keep into an album or an encrypted vault, tell Photos to feature that person less so they stop appearing in Memories and widgets, leave any shared albums or Shared Library with your ex, and delete intimate images of them unless they clearly want you to keep them.** A relationship ended, and your phone still holds years of it: trips, birthdays, everyday moments, maybe more private pictures too. Whether you want to keep them, delete them or decide later, you can at least stop them ambushing you on your home screen, or in front of someone new. ## What to do right now 1. **Stop the surprises.** Open a photo of your ex in Photos, tap the **More** button (⋯), choose **Don't Feature This Person**, then pick **Feature This Person Less** or **Never Feature This Person**. This affects Memories, featured photos and the Photos widget. To clear suggestions already made, go to **Settings → Apps → Photos → Featured Content** and tap **Reset Suggested Memories**. Our guide to [hiding photos from Memories, widgets and search](/guides/hide-photos-from-memories-iphone) covers more options. 2. **Leave shared albums.** In Photos, open the shared album, tap **More**, then the album name. If your ex created it, tap **Unsubscribe**; before you do, you can delete photos you added. If you created it, you can **Remove Subscriber** or **Delete Shared Album**. 3. **Leave or end a Shared Library.** If you shared an iCloud Shared Photo Library, open Photos, tap **Collections**, tap your account at the top, then **Manage** next to Shared Library. You can **Leave Shared Library** and choose to keep everything or only what you contributed. If you created it, you can remove your ex or delete the library; participants are notified either way. 4. **Don't decide everything tonight.** If you're not sure, move photos out of sight first. You can delete later; you can't undelete after Recently Deleted empties. ## Keep or let go There's no right answer, and it can be different for different photos: - **Photos you want to keep** for your own history (a trip, your friends, your dog) can stay; just put them somewhere you choose to open rather than somewhere that opens itself. - **Photos you're unsure about** can go into a separate album or vault for now. Revisit them in a few months. - **Photos you want gone** should be deleted, then removed from **Albums → Recently Deleted**, where they otherwise wait for up to 30 days. Our guide to [permanently deleting photos](/guides/permanently-delete-photos-iphone) walks through it, including other devices on your account. If you have a new partner, keeping a few old photos is normal. Keeping them out of Memories and widgets just means neither of you is caught off guard. ## Intimate images of an ex Private photos your ex sent you, or that you took together, were shared within a relationship that has ended. The respectful default is to delete them, unless your ex has clearly said they're fine with you keeping them. If they ask you to delete them, do it. Never share them, show them to anyone or post them, however the relationship ended. Sharing intimate images without consent is illegal in many countries and US states, and it causes lasting harm. If it's the other way round and you're worried about intimate images your ex has of you, you can ask them to delete them. If they threaten to share them or already have, save the evidence, don't pay or negotiate, and use **StopNCII.org** (for images taken when you were 18 or older), which helps participating platforms block copies without you uploading the image itself. Report the content to the platform and consider contacting the police. Our guide to [storing intimate photos safely](/guides/store-intimate-photos-iphone) covers this in more detail. ## What not to rely on - **The Hidden album alone.** It keeps photos out of your library view, but it opens with your phone's unlock, and anyone who knows iPhones knows where to look. - **Deleting from one device.** With iCloud Photos on, deletions sync, but photos saved in chat apps, email, cloud drives or an old computer don't. - **Your ex deleting their copies.** You can ask, but you can't check. Focus on what you control. - **A shared Apple account.** If you ever shared an Apple account or iPhone passcode, assume they could still see your photos until you change the password and the passcode. ## Lasting protection For photos you want to keep but not see by accident, an encrypted vault is a calm middle ground. Photos inside it aren't in your library, so they never appear in Memories, widgets, search or shared albums, and they open only with a code that isn't your phone's passcode. With VaultCave, you create a vault with its own pattern or passcode, then tap + and import the photos from Photos, with the option to delete the originals from your library once the encrypted copy is verified. Folders let you keep "keep" and "decide later" apart. The vault isn't listed on the unlock screen, so it doesn't announce itself to anyone who picks up your phone. Keep the 12-word recovery phrase somewhere safe: it's the only way to restore the vault if you forget the pattern. Also worth doing after a breakup: - Change your iPhone passcode if your ex ever knew it. - Check **Settings → [your name] → Sign-In & Security** and the device list for anything you don't recognise. - Review Find My location sharing and any shared calendars or notes. ## What a vault doesn't solve A vault keeps photos private on your phone. It can't remove copies your ex has, stop someone from photographing your screen, or deal with harassment. If your ex is monitoring you, threatening you or won't leave you alone, sudden changes on your phone may be noticed, so think about safety first. A local domestic violence hotline can help you plan, and the police can help with threats or image-based abuse. ## The short version - Tell Photos to feature your ex less, and reset suggested memories, so old photos stop surprising you. - Leave shared albums and any Shared Library you had with your ex. - Keep what matters to you somewhere you choose to open, such as an encrypted vault; delete the rest properly. - Delete intimate images of your ex unless they clearly agreed, and never share them. - If your own images are threatened, keep evidence and use StopNCII.org. ## FAQ ### Will my ex see if I delete photos from a shared album? Photos you delete from a shared album disappear for everyone subscribed to it, so they may notice they're gone. Unsubscribing removes the album from your devices. Your ex isn't sent a message saying you deleted specific photos, but they can see the album has changed. ### How do I stop my iPhone showing memories with my ex? Open a photo of them, tap the More button, choose Don't Feature This Person and pick Feature This Person Less or Never Feature This Person. You can also reset suggestions in Settings → Apps → Photos under Featured Content. ### Is it wrong to keep photos of an ex? No. Ordinary photos are part of your own history, and plenty of people keep a few. What matters is keeping them private and not letting them hurt a new relationship or your own peace of mind. Intimate images are different: keep those only if your ex clearly agreed. ### Can I get back photos my ex has of me? You can't remove photos from someone else's phone, but you can ask them to delete images, especially intimate ones. If they threaten to share intimate images, or already have, keep evidence and use StopNCII.org, report to the platform and consider contacting the police.